I have a big announcement coming next week and I can’t let you in on all the details yet…but as part of this big announcement I had to write out my testimony of faith. Surprisingly I’d never done this before, and I felt a bit uncomfortable doing so for this surprise project…but once I got started yesterday I couldn’t stop. And then last night after a long weekend I thought why not share with the world. I know in my heart that this blog is part of my faith journey so I feel you all should see a bit into my heart…see a bit more about why I’m so passionate about my faith and fitness.
I was baptized as a young girl in our family’s home church. I knew I believed in God and I knew that I wanted God in my life. But it wasn’t until much later that I realized the true impact of accepting Christ into my life.
I did my best to lead a Godly life but was not intentional with much in my faith throughout high school. I was a good girl but by no means was I seeking out the Lord or asking Him to come into my life.
I went away to college and began to forget more about God. For the first time in my life I felt free…no parents, no rules, no church to go to on Sunday if I didn’t want to…I started to veer off course. Funny how when you feel free you also begin to feel like nothing is in your control.
As my own control over my life began to slip away I sunk into a severe eating disorder. I do not know the root cause of my eating disorder but deep down inside I think it has to do with needing some type of acceptance that I didn’t have at college. Don’t get me wrong my family is amazing, my friends pretty awesome too, but I shut out God, I shut out so many of those friends and family as I tried desperately to gain some type of control of the chaos that was in my life.
Throughout my freshmen and sophomore year of college, I sunk deeper and deeper into my eating disorder and into severe depression and anxiety. I prayed I remember many times that God would just end it all, not necessarily through death but that somehow He’d end it. Thankfully my friends, family, and college support confronted me about my struggles and got me into treatment for recovery from my eating disorder.
I was terrified and ashamed that I needed help, that yet again I was out of control as I so badly wanted perfection in every aspect of my life. I went my first day to treatment at a place called the Charis Center in Indianapolis. I remember picking up my folder the first day of treatment and a piece of paper had the definition of the word Charis…it simply said grace. At that moment I knew God was with me in that room. I’ll never forget that day sitting in a room surrounded by other young women in my class, I cried, I prayed, and remember saying to God…thank you Lord, I truly knew that the Lord I had accepted as a young child was in that room and I’d never leave Him again. God was in that treatment center with his hand extending me grace and all the love I’d ever need.
I went through intensive outpatient therapy at the Charis Center. The journey was extremely long, rough, and at times I wanted to veer away from God. But each day as I’d enter for my session I’d see the word Charis…grace…and I’d remember God is here, God…God will help me through this. I’ve never prayed harder than in those days. And I didn’t pray just for recovery – I prayed that my struggles weren’t for nothing…I prayed that God would have me somehow find out why I was going through this challenging time.
I completed therapy and graduated college. I then began working as a CPA and though I still struggled with disordered eating I was a much stronger woman and I looked forward to church, to small group, to fellowship. I was thirsty for more of Him!
I am now almost ten years out from graduation, I’m married to an amazingly Godly man with twin boys. I can’t imagine a day without Him in my life, without prayer, without CHARIS.
I now thrive on sharing my love for health, fitness, and proper nutrition with others. I wake up each morning wanting to share the power of faith, fitness, and food. I began a wellness blog entitled Creating Better Tomorrow – where I share all things faith, family, fitness, and food. I began work as a Beachbody coach sharing with others the power of faith combined with fitness. I have found I am stronger in faith and fitness because of my long journey through an eating disorder and though a terrible time in my life I am forever grateful for it because it brought me back to Him.
Linking up with Katie because His grace and my journey to where I am today are truly Marvelous on this Monday!