Not long ago, I got real, I got raw, I got vulnerable in sharing my struggles with anxiety & motherhood. I received so many kind messages, comments, cards, thank you. Well it has been almost two months and I just had another appoint with my doctor along with a slight meltdown last week. And I thought…heck there is no holding back here in this space. I promise you to be real, raw, and vulnerable while sharing my life in hopes that it might provide you with inspiration, support, and motivation as wives, mothers, daughters, spouses, ANYONE.
Patience in Prayer
I won’t lie…lately I’ve been a little frustrated with God. It seems like I’ve been praying for so many years for ease of anxiety, mental stress, and my eating disorder. Though the eating disordered thoughts are SOOO much better, when I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and stress they can easily pop up. I fight the anxiety and I fight the negative self talk. I fight! But last week I lost it. Don’t ask Dan about it 🙂 and in my defense it was that time of the month 😉 and my emotions were out of control. But last Tuesday I fell asleep sobbing. Why? Impatience. I’ve been soooooo frustrated with what I see as unanswered prayers. I want my mind to be free and the weight I’m on my shoulders to be lifted.
I want…want…want…isn’t He hearing my prayers?
As I lie in bed sobbing this past week, Dan hugged me and said, ‘Thank you for not giving up.’ And that one line really hit home to me. Yes I’m frustrated. Yes my patience was tested to the limit last week.
But nope I have not nor will I give up.
Here is the thing with faith…it isn’t easy. A faithful life isn’t sugar coated and it never follows our timeline. But with persistence and patience faith in God always brings about the best ending. And reminding myself of this over the past week actually left me excited and encouraged. I think my life is pretty amazing, have an AWESOME FAMILY, love my AWESOME job teaching fitness, have an AWESOME home. I have it pretty AWESOME. Yeah, I struggle with anxiety at this stage of my life but goodness what if God is using it for me to become stronger, make my life even more AWESOME?!?! And the best part…I know that is exactly what He is doing.
I’ve become more focused on my devotional time. More focused on my prayer time. More focused on my time in scripture. I’m letting the Lord know I’m holding on and never giving up.
So my friends whether you are struggling with anxiety, relationship struggles, physical struggles, financial struggles, LIFE. Remember this…PRAY, DON’T GIVE UP.